Wednesday, May 23, 2012

THE BOOK OF POO #5 - The Legend of Negguy | James Only

Well Well with all of the talk about the Misfits being on the ever so popular Negguys Misfits MessageBoard. I figured I'd see if I could get ahold of the man himself, Negguy. I was lucky,with his tough schedule and all to get an interview on one condition... that I buy him lunch. So we met up at Subway (Official Food Of James Only and the Book of Poo) and here's what he had to say.

JamesOnly: Soo how does it feel to be a celebrity fiend?

negguy: FUCK VAMPIRO

JamesOnly: I mean with yours being the most popular messageboard and all, you gotta feel kinda rockstar

negguy: MISFITS RULE!! FUCK VAMPIRO!!

JamesOnly: I see

JamesOnly: So, did your momma name you Negguy?

negguy: NO PETER STEELE DID.....OH YAH....FUCK VAMPIRO

JamesOnly: Uhuh

JamesOnly: What's your favorite Misfits song?

negguy: HUNTING HUMANS...LYRICS ARE WICKED

JamesOnly: Are You Serious?

negguy: YAH

JamesOnly: hahahahahahaha

negguy: WHAT'S SO FUNNY?

JamesOnly: I'd have to say Earth A.D.,cuz I'm a cool fiend who can't give credit to the New Misfits cuz That's not the cool thing to do.

negguy: YOU CAN HAVE AN AUTOGRAPH BUT IT'LL COST YOU $20 PLUS POSTAGE

JamesOnly: Your Autograph?

negguy: JOHN HANDCOCK

JamesOnly: haha

negguy: ICP ARE FUCK-WADS

JamesOnly: Would you quote that?

negguy: SO WHEN DOES THE INTERVIEW START?

JamesOnly: I dunno. Good Question

::Before James Only Can ask the next question::

negguy: FUCK VAMPIRO

JamesOnly: I see....

JamesOnly: Soo, what made you think up the message board?

negguy: I WAS "BOARD"

negguy: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

JamesOnly: Oh Really? ::not laughing::

JamesOnly: So, what did you think of the Previous Book of Poos?

negguy: GOOD STUFF...SMELLED A LITTLE THOUGH

JamesOnly: Yeah, well...

negguy: AS JERRY SAYS,"WHAT CAN YOU DO?"

JamesOnly: As James Only Says "Not a damn thing"

JamesOnly: So, how's it feel to be Negguy? King of all Misfits Message Boards?

negguy: WE WENT OVER THAT ALREADY

JamesOnly: So, what are you trying to say?

negguy: DOH!!

JamesOnly: Moving Along

negguy: So have you spoken to Jerry at Subway lately?

JamesOnly: Nah Man, I saw him again but him and Doyle high tailed it outta there as soon as they saw me come in the door.

negguy: OH YAH...THIS IS ABOUT ME...NOT JERRY...SORRY JERRY

JamesOnly: Describe the Misfits in 5 words or less

negguy: FUCKIN GODS OF HORROR PUNK!!!

JamesOnly: Rockem Sockem

JamesOnly: Spicy Italian or Roasted Chicken?

negguy: BLT

JamesOnly: I knew you'd say that

negguy: SOMETIMES I WAIT TILL THEY HAVE THE BACON AND LETTUCE ON IT AND THEN TELL THEM TO HOLD THE BACON LETTUCE AND TOMATO!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

JamesOnly: Right.... ::hiding embarrassment::

JamesOnly: Soo is there any advice or words of wisdom that you'd like to say to other fiends out there who look up to you and admire you?

negguy: Be strong fiends, for your strength gives us strength and together we make the Misfits something worth fighting for.

JamesOnly: ::thinks:: (Where have i heard that before? Hmm..)

negguy: Well,James, being Only (no pun intended) 3 foot 7...everyone looks down on me

JamesOnly: I see

JamesOnly: Is that a fact?

negguy: YAH...Some days me arse drags on the ground

JamesOnly: Would you quote that?

negguy: No...Jerry Didn't want me to tell anyone about it

JamesOnly: Is THAT a fact?

negguy: IF IT'S IN THE BOOK OF POO...THEN I GUESS NOT.HAHAHA!!

JamesOnly: ::looks lost:: WHA?? ::not laughing::

JamesOnly: Well how is your site coming along? I mean its gotta be tough with such competitors such as the Cut n Paste Kid, and of course the Misfits Bible of Bullshit?

negguy: Cut N Past Kid BLOWS GOATS FOR QUARTERS!!!...STILL OWES ME THREE VIDEOS FROM 2 YEARS AGO

JamesOnly: Good Pointe, Shit,Who needs Elvis when you got Space Ghost Right?

negguy: YOU SAID IT....AND THEN THERE'S HE-MAN HAHAHAHAHA!!!

JamesOnly: Uhhh....right.... ::not laughing:: ::getting embarassed::

JamesOnly: Soo, what do you think of Bobby Boy Steele?

negguy: COOL GUY...I don't bother with personal issues and all the arguments and bickering,though.

JamesOnly: Yeah me either...YOU HATE FILLED BIGGOT, TRYING TO MOCK MY DISABILITY!!!

negguy: I don't have time anyways with my busy schedule, y'know autographs and all.

JamesOnly: Yeah its gotta be tough being Negguy

negguy: YAH

JamesOnly: King of the Misfits Boards

negguy: DO I DETECT SOME JEALOUSY?

JamesOnly: But of course not.... >=|

::Evil,Jealous Look::

negguy: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE VICE PRESIDENT OF THE BOARD?

JamesOnly: I would like that, I deserve it and all...

negguy: SO BE IT!! I DUB YOU VICE PRESIDENT!!!

JamesOnly: Rockem Sockem!

JamesOnly: Vice President James Only, Its Got a nice ring to it.

negguy: YAH,THEN WE CAN CALL YOU, JAMESGUY HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

JamesOnly: Oh God...

JamesOnly: American Nightmare or Spook City USA?

JamesOnly: ::waiting for response::

negguy: A.N.

JamesOnly: I'd like to buy a vowel

negguy: "O"

JamesOnly: You got me, I'm stumped

negguy: American Nightmare

JamesOnly: Is there anything you'd like to comment on?

negguy: YAH...YOUR BOOK IS COOL

JamesOnly: Its not "Cruel"? Ah Hah Hah Hah

::gameshow host laugh::

negguy: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

negguy: SORRY

JamesOnly: Moving along

JamesOnly: What do you think is the number one reason that the Misfits haven't written a song about Star Wars yet?

negguy: I THINK CHEWBACA AND VAMPIRO HAVE SOMETHING GOING

negguy: They wouldn't like that

JamesOnly: Y'know, I thought that too...weird

JamesOnly: Mr. Negguy, is that your final answer?

negguy: FINAL ANSWER

JamesOnly: I'm sorry but that's...

JamesOnly: Incorrect!!!

negguy: DAMN

JamesOnly: The correct or best answer is "They're Trekkies,James, Trekkies"

negguy: Oh well...I'll just walk away with $32,000

JamesOnly: Ok, you do that

JamesOnly: Since we got extra time let's play Battleship.

negguy: OK..LET'S PLAY

JamesOnly: One ship,A-F,1-10

JamesOnly: You first, Mr.Messageboard Guy

negguy: B4

JamesOnly: Miss

JamesOnly: G6

negguy: DAMN!!! YOU SUNK IT!!!....IT ALREADY HAD ONE HIT ON IT!!!

JamesOnly: HA-HA!! I'M THE KING!!!!

JamesOnly: The U.S.S. Misfits Went Awol On Yo Azz!!

negguy: C4

JamesOnly: Its Game Over, Negguy, you can't try to find my ship anymore..

negguy: DAMN...BIZATCH!!

negguy: OOPS...DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD??

JamesOnly: I dunno

JamesOnly: Soo, how "convenient" that your "Chat-room" comes on the same time as WCW... ::Looks at Negguy Suspiciously::

negguy: A MAILING JUST WENT OUT TELLING EVERYFIEND WEDNESDAYS INSTEAD...

JamesOnly: Oh... ::trying to play it off:;

negguy: I was trying to get fiends away from Vampqueero

JamesOnly: I KNEW IT!!!

...To Be Continued

Well fRiends this is Part 1 in Negguy's two part Book of Poo "Official Statement". So keep your eyes on your mailbox for the Book of Poo #6 for the conclusion!!!


Legal Stuff: The Book of Poo is a copyrighted trademark of James Only. So all you Spinach Chins who try to copy me and can't do a good job need to try just a little bit harder! The Book of Poo is done soley for Entertainment Purposes and for James Only's amusement,or course. Be on the lookout for the Book of Poo #6!!! Also,keep checkin up for any new announcements!!

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