THE BOOK OF POO #3 - Vampiro - | James Only

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Well Well Fiends, Book Number 3, The Book of Poo is starting to become a household name!!! (Okay..maybe not..)Wow, I've recieved a TON of email from people wanting to be added to the Book of Poo mailing list! Crazy, I know, but I'm dedicated to Jerry Only's "fiends"!! (Don't wanna get sued there) ;)
Here's the story. Y'know with all these damn rumors floating around and all this bickering with VampQueero and Bobby Steele slammin' Jerry with insults. I thought I'd get a piece of the action and talk to Vampiro himself. There was a Milli Vanilli Fan Club Meeting and I'll be damned if ol Vampiro wasn't there. So I went and had a conversation with him, but he wouldn't talk to me unless I played a game of Bingo with him. So, I got on my bingo shirt and kicked some arse!!
James Only: Soo, you're a Bingo player huh?
Vampiro: F*ck Jerry Only.
James Only: What?! Hot Damn! I didn't even get to that yet! Harsh words, Mr.Hodgkinson. Do you kiss your girlfriend with that same mouth?
Vampiro: My wife was getting pissed at me.
James Only: I bet.
Vampiro: I was begging WCW to let me use the music and let's incorporate the image, rock n roll and wrestling, cause we all look the same.
James Only: Which is why you can't come up with your own make-up design?
Vampiro: F*ck Jerry Only.
James Only: I see...
Vampiro: So they were supposed to originally come in as musicians and play live when I went to the ring, but Jerry had to open his mouth and he just wanted to take over the wrestling world.
James Only: Is that a fact?
Vampiro: F*ck Jerry Only.
James Only: Right....
Vampiro: He just started to become such a pain in the ass, it was affecting my
work. James Only: Which is why you can't wrestle?
Vampiro: F*ck Jerry Only
James Only: Soo anything you'd like to say about Jerry Only?
Vampiro: F*ck Jerry Only
James Only: Well..besides that!!
Vampiro: He's a groupie. So f*ck Jerry Only.
James Only: MOVING ALONG!!!
James Only: Do you feel that you haven't been treated fairly?
Vampiro: I was never given a chance to say my side of the story with him and it's being portrayed like I broke up the Misfits or something like that.
James Only: Didn't you?
James Only: Which says what about your statement?
Vampiro: It's the farthest from the truth.
James Only: Soo, did you try to do anything?
Vampiro: I tried for three years to get them in here, to get them exposure.
James Only: Wow...To Get THEM Exposure Huh?
Vampiro: To introduce them to the majority of the youth in the USA to one of the frontier punk rock bands.
James Only: Ohh, you mean to your "Fiends"?
Vampiro: F*ck Jerry Only
James Only: Well you've been pretty in on the Misfits? Can't you tell us anything?
Vampiro: I can't speak because it's a legal matter now about the band.
James Only: Well you've been talking about it for the last few minutes doing this interview with me, Boy Genious!
Vampiro: F*ck Jerry Only
James Only: ::Thinking:: (Man, I should've cancelled this interview)
Vampiro: There's a song by the Rolling Stones called Starf*cker and that's pretty much what Jerry is.
James Only: No, he's a BASS GUITARIST!! Oh yeah you're a "true fiend" , you don't get anymore punk rock than the Rolling Stones! ::sarcasm ago go::
James Only: So how do you think Jerry gets out of the shows?
Vampiro: If he can get ahead by stepping on anybody near to him
James Only: Well those Misfits shows are pretty jam packed...
Vampiro: F*ck Jerry Only
James Only: So what do you think about Bobby Steele?
Vampiro: If there's anybody who ever fits the word poser or flake in the world more than him, I haven't met him.
James Only: There there, that's no way to talk about someone who supports you, you Biggoted jerkface!
Vampiro: F*ck Jerry Only.
James Only: Is that all you can say?
Vampiro: He would phone my house 13, 14 times a day.
James Only: Bobby Steele uses the internet, Boy Genious!
Vampiro: Then the decision was made by WCW to terminate Jerry Only's contract, which he never had.
James Only: How in the Green Hell do you terminate a contract that never existed?!
Vampiro: He said I was obsessed with him and WCW is bullshit and he said how fake wrestling is and WCW sucked and he just turned into a baby.
James Only: Well Bobby Steele never really told me that he liked wrestling...
James Only: A baby huh? He looks normal to me...
Vampiro: F*ck Jerry Only.
James Only: Ohhh, yeah, that's right....
James Only: Well is there anything you'd like to say in closing?
Vampiro: F*ck Jerry Only. F*ck Jerry Only.
James Only: Well I'm outta here :::Runs for the nearest exits:::
Well fiends this was a totally useless and pointless interview with Vampiro. Well we didn't learn many things in this interview, but I think we learned that Vampiro's favorite catch phrase is "F*ck Jerry Only". I would've thought he'd be smarter. (Too much brown water?) Jiggle the handle, close the lid, this one is gone...

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LEGAL STUFF: the Book of Poo is a copyrighted trademark of James Only and James Only, Only. So if you think you can do a better job, you deserve a kick in the arse. The Book of Poo is done soley for Entertainment Purposes and for James Only's amusement, Only.